2 posts tagged “discipline”
So, in the eternal saga that is parenting, I am constantly considering what I can do to insure that my children have greater success in life than I have. Not that my life is unpleasant by any means, but I believe every parent should want more for the next generation.
In the last couple of weeks, God has really been speaking to me about the tone of voice I use in response to certain situations. As well as my frequently inappropriate attitude. It's one of those things that I am reading about in my own personal times of reflection and prayer, then hearing about in the talks at church. As a result, I have asked my husband for accountability and am really asking God for strength, insight and reminders when I am in the midst of it.
I am specifically focusing on being proactive vs. reactive with Sydney (who turns 4 in just 3 weeks!). Our personalities are so similar that we can really push each others buttons and escalate a situation to an ugly place. We both like to be in control, be right all the time and are very passionate/dramatic. So, I have determined that I'm going to be the bigger person (what a novel idea as a parent) and refuse to be moved by her actions. I really want to help her be able to process through some of the things that I still struggle with now. I can't expect her to control her emotions if I allow myself to fly off the handle over pointless issues.
Anywho, last Sunday we were on our way to church and I opened up my bible to read Proverbs for the day (Nash was driving). The first verse of chapter 15 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Upon reading that single verse I closed by bible. Enough said! When I explained to Nash why I was finished so quickly we both had a good laugh. God is such a hoot!
Okay, so in our family we don't say "stupid", cause we have kids now, and that's one of the words kid's aren't supposed to be allowed to say. "Shut up" is right in there as well.
In light of this fact, I am amused every time I read chapter 12 of the book of Proverbs in my Bible. I try to read the chapter that corresponds to the date every day. This is a great system, since Proverbs has 31 chapters, one for every day of the month.
Anywho, Proverbs 12:1 says:"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid."
Notice it doesn't say that the person who hates correction is sensitive/has a certain personality type/God just made them that way/it's their parent's fault. Nope! It simply states that you're an idiot if you don't want the help of others to grow.
If you're anything like me, I tend to take it personally when others try to help me. I figure that I must stink at what I'm doing. Or that if I was really good at it, I wouldn't need to fix anything about it. But maybe if I was really focused on "discipline" where my gifts/talents are concerned, I wouldn't resent the "correction" so much. It's a theory anyway :-).
I heard something a few months ago that totally changed my life. It was that we need to focus on "blessing" each other and not trying to "balance" each other. Not only do we need to do this, but assume that those who lead/help us are trying to do the same thing. They aren't trying to fix us, they are trying to help us reach our goals and see our dreams become reality.
There really is no way for me to become all that I want to be on my own. God wants to "bless" me through my relationships, my pastors, His word, great books, coaches, teachers, etc. My pastor, Jeff Knight (www.knightrous.com), has been talking a lot about how real dreams are things I could never accomplish on my own. If it only takes me to accomplish, then it's not a God-size dream. I am learning more every day about my need for others, and the blessing it is that they want to help me be better at everything I love to do.
It's like June Cleaver said when she was in Airplane, "Chump don't want da help, chump don't get da help." What a shock to find out that she could speak jive!
