2 posts tagged “tact”

Considering the awesome response to the "Prego" post, I thought I would toss out some other requests for tact that need to be known by the world.

I checked the calendar today and our third child is set to arrive just five weeks from this coming Thursday. Crazy!  This is another stage of life that begs for outsiders to be supportive and sensitive.  Now there is one thing that has been said to me and others at the "just-had-a-baby" stage that is just not so awesome.

Please do not tell me I look tired. 

Having a newborn equates to sleep deprivation.  It's a given.  Ya just live tired for a while.  However, I do not need to know that the way I feel is effecting my appearance.  I have just been enormous for months, am watching showering slowly slide down my daily to-do list, spending a lot of energy just dressing for public and focusing most of my faith on longer sleeping stretches and getting my body back to better-than-before-baby.  So, if you are truly my friend, tell me I look great.  If it's just not true, you don't need to sin by lying, just talk about how cute the wee one is or ask if there's anything you can do to help.

I know that we all often feel like we know someone well enough to say things like this too them.  But the most treasured people in my life make me feel like I am succeeding, overcoming and graced by God to get my jobs done.  In short, whether you have room to say it or not, choose to bless and encourage.  That's love!

Just needed to toss an FYI out there to those of you who come across someone who is pregnant.  There are two things that I feel must be clarified - truths that need to be spread to the masses.

1 - The fact that my stomach is full of child does not magically make it public property.  Therefore, please do not touch my tummy.  And please don't ask for permission to do so.  It only puts me in an the awkward position of saying, "Heck no!"

2 - I have no desire to hear labor/delivery horror stories.  I don't want to hear how you defied the odds and your third child's arrival was the most difficult of all.  Nor do I need to know about complications, delayed breathing on the part of your newborn or poor performance by medical professionals.

You see, a pregnant woman is very much in need of personal space and positive verbage.  She needs to hear about the great things God can deliver in the midst of the miracle of childbirth.  So, give space and speak Life!  Help faith arise in the heart of every expectant mom you meet.

Oh, and if any comment you're about to make starts with the words " just wait until..." it is probably best left unsaid.  It is always followed by the suggestion to plan for something ugly to arrive.  Not cool!